Backslide

Domino's Handmade Pan Pizza, topped with Pepperoni, Sausage and Diced Tomatoes. Two small (1 1/2 oz) bags of lays potato chips, two 20 oz bottles of Coke.

No excuses, but, just to put you in my head space......


My job has been changing lately. We are going in a new direction and I've had to acquire new skills. I don't feel very confident in my ability to do this new job.

Last night, I was alone, the roommates were out of town.

My mind kept shouting at me to get the items listed above.

I have fruit and yogurt to eat in the refrigerator and cool filtered water to drink. 

I chose to be bad to myself.

Of course, in the moment, it was....wonderful.

I remembered why food had become my best friend.

This morning as I was waking up, something interesting happened.

My body rejected it. 

It all came back up. 

As I sat there, trying to clean myself up, before I got in the shower, I wanted to remember this moment.

I wanted this moment to melt into my brain. 

I want it to haunt me.

I don't want to forget it. 

I just hope I've learned the lesson.

If I find myself in a moment like this again, I need to pick up my phone and call someone.

Someone, anyone could have talked me down.

I will not hesitate to do so, should the need arise.